Fridays have become my sacred time for reflection. It’s not just the half-day at work or the slower pace that creates space for me to breathe it’s that deeper, quieter moment of looking inward. What did I learn this week? What did I struggle with? What am I proud of, and what still needs work? Fridays offer me the clarity I need, a brief pause in the rush of life to sit with myself.
This week, the theme that keeps echoing in my mind is emotional intelligence the art of understanding myself and the people around me. It’s not just about controlling emotions or reading the room it’s about deep self-awareness, knowing when to act, when to hold back, and when to simply breathe through it.
At work, it’s been a week of managing challenges with more ease than I expected. The pressure hasn’t been overwhelming, but there’s still this quiet yearning inside me for something more. I find myself wishing for change the kind of change that will push me out of my comfort zone and into something bigger, something that will make me stretch and grow. I want that hunger ground, the kind of challenge that will make me fight for my career to move forward. I’m craving growth, but I’m also in a waiting season .Waiting for that wind of change to sweep me up and take me to the next level. It feels like the right time, but I don’t know when it’s coming. Still, I hold on to the belief that change always finds its way when it’s meant to.
This week has been a mix of emotional highs and lows. The highs have been the moments when I handled difficult situations better than I would have in the past. I have been at work in scenarios where colleagues were unrealistic or unprofessional, but instead of reacting out of frustration or anger, I stayed calm. I handled the moments with patience and understanding and didn’t let the negativity affect me as it might have before. I’m proud of myself for that. I used to react without thinking, but now I pause. I breathe. I respond. And that’s growth. It’s a reminder that I can handle anything that comes my way if I stay grounded in myself.
However, not all days were smooth. Wednesday and Thursday hit me harder than usual. It felt like life was trying to test me, pushing me to the edge. But as the days went on, I realized that the only way through it was to find peace. I had to sit with my emotions and come to terms with certain things. I didn’t have to fix everything. I just needed to accept it. And if I couldn’t accept it, I learned I had the power to remove it from my life. It’s crucial to know when to protect my peace, when to let go, and when to keep only what serves me.
In the midst of all this, I have been reflecting on the people in my life the ones who truly see me. The ones that truly matter. Not everyone can hold space for your deepest truths. Emotional intelligence teaches us to recognize who can handle the weight of our words, who can support us in our hardest moments, and who can celebrate our uniqueness without judgment .
Captain W is one of those rare souls. He’s the one who listens to my thoughts no filter, no judgment. He lets me unravel my crazy mind, and he holds space for it, accepting all the chaos that comes with it. With him, I feel free to be myself no masks, no pretenses. There’s something so healing about having a friend who gets you, who accepts your flaws and imperfections, and never expects you to be anything but real above all, challenges you to be better. These kinds of connections are rare, and I hold them close.
But this week, I had to sit with an emotion I don’t often admit to or feel, jealousy. It caught me off guard, creeping in quietly yesterday evening when I realized my friend is going on a 4 week vacation with a loved one and suddenly, I felt distant, like I was no longer a priority. It hurt in a way I wasn’t expecting. Not because I don’t want him to be happy I do. But because, for a moment, it felt like I was being left behind.I didn’t like how that feeling sat in my chest. It made me question myself. Am I being needy? Selfish? But the truth is, it wasn’t about wanting to take his joy away. It was about fearing that our connection was changing, that maybe I didn’t hold the same space in his life anymore. And that’s a hard thing to sit with.
But as the days passed, I reminded myself that real friendships don’t disappear just because life shifts. People can love you and still have space for others. Distance doesn’t always mean disconnection. And if something is real, it doesn’t need to be forced or clung to it just is.So instead of letting jealousy turn into resentment, I let it teach me something.It reminded me of a conversation i had before with the same friend he stated that Jealousy often stems from a feeling of insecurity , a feeling of inadequacy or lack ? So where am I lacking as a friend to feel this kind of feeling ? What am I insecure about ? I let it remind me that I am enough, And that love whether platonic or romantic is never about being chosen over someone else. It’s about knowing your place is solid, even in the silence.
This week also brought me face-to-face with my body. My weight has been creeping up, and it’s been hard to accept Making every flaw, every scar , every stretch mark shine brighter .But here’s the thing I’m learning to love it. I’m learning to embrace the body that has carried me through every triumph, every challenge, and every day. My body isn’t perfect, but it’s mine. And as I embrace it, I’m also learning to celebrate my strength.
I have been running more, pushing myself in ways I didn’t think I could, and my body and mind are finally starting to sync up. It’s a powerful feeling when you realize how much strength you really have. I’m relearning the importance of mindful eating, the importance of recognizing my emotions naming them, acknowledging them, and not allowing them to always send me reaching for another bar of chocolate and cookies.
I’m also feeling immense gratitude for the people who continue to be in my life. My Tuapah’s birthday is on today 31/01, and though we are not together to celebrate, I’m so proud of who she’s becoming. It’s not easy being far away from each other and balancing our own journeys, but I have learned that love isn’t always about grand gestures. It’s the little things. It’s the time, the attention, the quiet moments that make the difference.
And yet, I feel a tinge of guilt, too. I have been too caught up in my own world at times, not making enough time for the people who matter most. I feel selfish at times, and I wrestle with that guilt. My friend Captain W is traveling on vacation, and I refused to make time for him because I was mad, well the truth is I wasn't mad, I was just being Jealous and inconsiderate!But it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to acknowledge where I have fallen short and still love myself through it. Growth doesn’t come without missteps. The important thing is that I learn from them, that I do better next time.
Through it all, I’m learning to be grateful for my health, my mind, the love I give and receive. Grateful for the people who make time for me and the time I make for others. Grateful for the lessons that life throws at me, the ones that push me to grow and the ones that make me reflect. Life isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth living, especially when we learn how to navigate it with emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and love.
So, as I sit here reflecting on this week, I’m proud of how far I have come. I’m grateful for the growth, even when it’s been hard. I’m thankful for the moments of clarity, the moments of peace, and the realization that no matter what challenges come my way, I’m stronger for it.
And that, for me, is enough.
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